Billie Lourd recently talked about the mixed feelings she still has for her late mother, Star Wars legend Carrie Fisher.
On what would have been her mom’s 69th birthday, the actress shared an emotional message about love, loss, and the strange feeling of being angry at someone who’s no longer in the world.
Carrie Fisher passed away in 2016 due to a heart attack. Lourd said she still misses her mom every day. She shared how her son recently asked how his grandmother died. Lourd told him that Fisher “didn’t take care of her body.” It was really a tough moment for her. “That conversation broke my heart and made me mad at her,” she wrote.
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Billie said it feels weird to be angry at someone who’s gone because you don’t really know where to get that feeling. Still, she’s learning to feel all kinds of emotions (sadness, anger, and gratitude). She admitted she’s angry that her mom couldn’t get sober, but she is also sad that she struggled so much.
Even with all these feelings, Billie Lourd tries to celebrate the memory of her beloved mom. She tells her kids funny stories about Fisher, watches her films, and eats her favorite foods. Lourd says these things help her feel close to her.
“Grief is a weird soup of feelings,” Lourd wrote. “But it’s made me appreciate life more and be grateful for the happy moments I have.”
