We answer the long-debated question
One of the numerous questions asked by wise guys to stir up trouble is thus: “is a hot dog a sandwich?”
First of all, how dare you.
Hot dogs are a wonderful thing, modern life’s perfect meaty treat cradled in a fluffy bun and topped with all manner of wonderful things. Ketchup, Mustard, relish, saurkraut, maybe onions if you’re feeling creative. By that same token, sandwiches are wonderful as well. They’re the universe’s most modular dish, accommodating almost any kind of food.
But there’s a single key phrase in that last paragraph that immediately invalidates this dumb debate topic: “a fluffy bun.” Take particular note of the singular use of “bun.” One bun, one piece of bread. Now, what is the single trait that defines the nature of a sandwich for what it is? Yes, that’s right: being between two pieces of bread.
QED, a hot dog is not a sandwich because a bun is a single piece of bread. The meat and toppings are not fully sandwiched between two pieces of bread, and so it is not a sandwich. If you were to cut up a hot dog and place it between two slices of bread, then a hot dog could be a sandwich.
And I just know that one of you is thinking right now, “what about an open-faced sandwich?”
First of all, how dare you. An open-faced sandwich is a dirty lie masquerading as a sandwich.