“STONKS: The Movie.”

You ever get the feeling we’re living in a cartoon? ‘Cause some things have happened lately that have been so unimaginably wacky, that I can’t help but wonder if there’s a large hand with a pencil hovering just outside my peripheral vision. Case in point: the big stock war between the Redditors of WallStreetBets and the Wall Street hedge fund managers over GameStop. It’s a pretty wild situation by itself, but not quite cartoon-worthy. No, what this whole situation really needs… is a movie. No- two movies!

According to various reports, both Netflix and MGM studios are already workshopping plans for movie adaptations of the GameStop stock surge. Entertainment pundits have already raised the obvious concern with this race to the finish: the story’s not even done yet. A lot of Reddit investors are still holding onto their GameStop shares with an iron grip. Of course, there have been enough developments already to make a brief mini-series at least, so what the heck, let’s make this happen.

Netflix has allegedly tapped The Hurt Locker and Detroit writer and producer Mark Boal to write a story treatment, and they’re hoping to get Noah Centineo of To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before fame to star. Who exactly he’d be starring as is a mystery, since this story doesn’t have a definitive protagonist, except maybe for that first Reddit user that sparked this whole thing.

This GameStop thing has some major Trading Places vibes. Bring back Dan and Eddie for the movie! pic.twitter.com/MFquIJzjIn

— Diana Lachiondo (@LachiondoD) January 28, 2021

MGM’s approach is a little more roundabout: they’ve purchased the movie rights to a book about the whole situation written by Ben Mezrich, writer of The Accidental Billionaires, the book that inspired The Social Network. Only problem is that Mezrich hasn’t actually written the book yet. So it’s a hypothetical movie based on a hypothetical book about a situation that hasn’t concluded yet. Anyone else getting a headache?

No word on potential release dates or casts for either film, but I gotta admit, I’m morbidly curious to see how these two projects turn out, if only to see how Hollywood ends up portraying the goings-on of Reddit.