Where Are They Now: College Major Edition

(Photo Source: lifehacker.com)

Mom of three? Running a start-up? CEO? Who knows…

Let’s face it: college is and will forever be the best time of your life. I don’t care what people say about the magic of your 30’s, the love and joys of parenting, or the satisfaction that comes with excelling in your career.

Yes, all of those are incredible and deserve their own Facebook photo album and unnecessary made-up holiday (seriously, can we get a ‘national celebrate that you made it through tax season’ day?) but college years are truly where all that magic and happiness starts. From the bruise on your left shin that you have no idea how you got or when you got it to your crippling student loan payments, memories of college days are around every corner, ready to greet you with a warm, cheap beer-smelling hug.

Though we’d all love to say we are the friend that keeps up with *everyone* post-grad, sometimes it’s just too difficult to keep tabs on all your old colleagues. That girl from your freshman year hall, that guy that tutored you in Calc 2, and the person you somehow had six or more classes with but still never studied together….where the heck are they now? Based on their major, we can make a few guesses.

Criminology majors

This person always kept their incredibly demanding workload and hectic internship schedule so lowkey, you didn’t even realize what they were really doing. You’d ask “what are you studying” and they’d vaguely respond, creating an air of mystery around their studies.

That behavioral trait of secrecy and privacy has been vital in their career aspirations, and the perfect reason you don’t fully know what they are up to these days. They’re working undercover on one of the most top-secret scandals in the country or investigating a high-crime case but keeping it really casual by still sharing Spongebob memes and chugging a Bud Light every now and then.

Entrepreneurship majors

The idea-generator, naturally, of your college friend group. They were always the creative buff coming up with different activities or things to do and was in charge of planning the social calendar for your respective club or college organization.

They were briefly caught up in a pyramid scheme selling natural energy drinks or weight-loss shakes, but to everyone’s relief, they bounced out of that phase quickly. They now work in app design, have moved to California and are total Orange Theory junkies.

History majors

Always ones to make jokes about their employment status and career goals in school, the history major is actually totally killing it at life now. They live in Milwaukee or Birmingham or Waco—one of those up-and-coming cities that everyone sees on Pinterest—and is really high-up in a ‘revitalize the city’ project focused on maintaining historical significance while making trendy hotspots for millennials to flock to. They have the absolute coolest tattoos, always rock a fun hat, and just want to remain plant-parents for now.

Accounting majors

They raged all through college and still made it to every single 8 am, even if just barely. There was never a night out where you didn’t see them having the time of their lives, and never a finals week you didn’t see them studying for hours on end.

They played the social life-school life balance perfectly, and still do to this day. One minute they are posting their published articles and data sets on theories of a pending recession, and the next they are getting absolutely wild at a music festival.

Nursing majors

This is the person we all admired in college. They were always on top of, if not ahead of, the reading schedule for every class, and always provided comprehensive study guides and group tutoring sessions complete with homemade cookies and a beautifully assembled cheese board.

After graduating, they moved close to home so they could stay connected and supportive of their family, and started their careers. They share healthy recipes for lemon pies and articles about incorporating kale into your diet online and love posting videos of their toddlers doing that one adorable thing that literally all toddlers do, or their dog or cat.

And underneath their warm and comforting spirit, they still love to get down with some tequila and drive through Taco Bell and can rap every single lyric to every popular rap song that plays.

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